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Joke of the Day

"That prank where you roll the windows down as you go through a carwash so your friends get soaked isn't as funny when you do it by yourself"

"When I become famous... I want to get a huge marble bust made in my image. But I'm getting ahead of myself."

"It's all shits and giggles... Until someone giggles and shits."

"Q: What do you call a truckload of vibrators? A: Toys for Twats."

"Why did the chicken go around the world? Because his name was Marco Pollo.."

"My new Thesaurus arrived today, and it's terrible. And another thing, it's terrible."

"CARTOON VILLAIN: how did you know it was me who robbed the bank COP: you were literally carrying around giant bags with dollar signs on them"

"What do elves learn at school? The elf-abet!"

"(Original) Why should you keep a broken clock? It's just nice having an extra set of hands around."

"Donald Trump walks into a bar and lowers it"