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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why is Bill infuriated with Chelsea's new private school? A: They broke family tradition by making her wear a uniform."

"GF: You cant keep it. ME: But- G: Its a BEE. M: HES my FRIEND! G: Hand him over. M: No! [tearing up] I wont let you hurt Albuzz Bumbledore!"

"How was I supposed know she was ugly? She had big titties."

"I wonder if poor kids in Africa dream of a white christmas? Like spending time with your whole family, getting tons of Xboxes and play stations. Heaping servings of food, etc."

"What do you call a waterfall that's all dried up? A waterfell."

"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So they're not confused with feminist. Sorry."

"What lives in the sea and preys on mermaids? Jack The Kipper."

"There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. The fraction guy reminded me of this."

"I have a cut on my leg Doc ""Yeah that legs gotta go sir"" But its a tiny cut ""Sorry, I cant save it"" *sharks fake doctor outfit falls off*"

"How do you catch a red elephant? With a red elephant trap."