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Joke of the Day

"Using spin moves while allowing an opponent's sword to narrowly miss your head forces them to add majestic layers and volume to your hair."

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"I went to the doctors with hearing problems... He said ""Can you describe the symptoms?"" So I replied ""Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair"""
"What's red and invisible? No tomatoes."
"Worst. Cruise. Ever. - Katie Holmes"
"You know what they say about living on Navy ships? It has its ups and downs."
"What did the snail say when put on top of a turtle? Weeeeeeeeeeee"
"AMA Request: Someone who has successfully committed suicide."
"Women are like condoms... ...they spend too much time in your wallet and not enough time on your dick."
"When I click on ""Submit a joke"" You."
"I was very naive sexually. My first girlfriend asked me to do missionary and I buggered off to Africa for six months"