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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a convertable? I keep one in my garage and one in my closet. Edit:typo."

"I'd like to tell you guys a chemistry joke But based on my experience so far in this sub, I'm sure I won't get any reaction"

"Which chord do pedophiles like the most? A minor"

"Baseball is my favorite sport, because you can play it on a professional level with food in your mouth."

"Last night, my Chevy was bitten by a vampire. Now it's Vlad the Impala."

"I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, ""How flexible are you?"" I said, ""I can't make Tuesdays."""

"What is the best way to get called a ,""genius?"" ...by losing a billion dollars in business."

"If there is a difference between a minor inconvenience and the end of the fucking world, you'd never know if from my histrionics."

"/r/LatvianJokes, you are Subreddit of the Day! Congratulations! Is only joke. Is actually secret police."

"People who talk at the cinemas really annoy me.. I can barely hear my phone over them!"