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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a convertable? I keep one in my garage and one in my closet. Edit:typo."

"I wanted some Lipo D energy drink, so I asked Gary Johnson if knew where I could find some. He asked me back... What's a lipo?"

"I hope when the machines take over the world they start by fixing my cable."

"What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato? A Dictator."

"When she found out he worked in technical support, it really turned her on. Then it turned her off. Then it turned her on again."

"What do you call a masturbating bull? Beef Stroganoff."

"Did you hear about that promising new male porn star? His studio described him as ""up and cumming""."

"when I see a girl tie a cherry stem with her tongue I put a whole fish in my mouth and pull out the skeleton then I leave with her boyfriend"

"I was looking at the menu in a restaurant wondering what the ""Jeremy Clarkson Special"" was Then it hit me"

"What do you call someone obsessed with Japanese food? a weeafood"