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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock * Knock Knock * Who's there? * I say to mart * I say to mart who? * I say tomato, let's call the whole thing off"

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"You know you're ugly when.... it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera. (add your own)"
"Why did Hugh Jackman single handedly stop a Franciscan botanist from accidentally dropping a match in the forest? Because only Hugh can prevent florist friars."
"They say I have the legs of a dancer.. but until they find the rest of the body the cops have got nothing on me man!"
"I always wanted to be somebody I should have been more specific."
"When does CPR become necrophilia? When you are both stiff"
"How do you say genius sarcastically? Apple genius."
"What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? a tire."
"I'm shit at remembering names. But isn't every Tom, Rick, and Larry"
"What did the left pussy lip say to the right pussy lip? Girl, we used to be so tight until we let some dick come between us."
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