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Joke of the Day

"Julie: What time is it? Counsellor: Three o'clock. Julie: Ohno! Counsellor: What's the matter? Julie: I've been asking the time all day. And everybody gives me a different answer!"

"Why did Hannibal invade Rome? [OC] Well it was kinda hard to avoid, what will all roads leading there and what not."

"I asked Santa for a new energy policy... ...but all I got in my stocking was a lump of coal. :-("

"Who's got two thumbs and dissociative identity disorder? *points thumbs at chest* That guy."

"Brett Favre reveals 'scary' memory loss says he is not going back to play Pro Basketball"

"What mouse was a Roman emperor ? Julius Cheeser !"

"What is it called when you're looking for a body killed by a mortician? Formaldehyde and seek!"

"How many vegetables should you pull out of the ground in one day? None"

"2012: Oh no, my iPhone is at 10% and there's no charger. 1812: Oh no, winter is starting."

"My wife has really dry skin so I asked my doctor what I could do about it. He said, ""Give her a milk bath."" I said, ""Pasteurized?"" The doctor replied, ""No, just up to her knees will do."""