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Joke of the Day

"What happened when the communists took over the airport? The planes kept Stalin."

"A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn't know it was even possible to be this jealous."

"Unlike Rick Astley, this tweet is likely to let you down."

"I think the best thing about being a cyclops is no one would notice if you had a lazy eye."

"As an ultimate act of selflessness, someday I will travel to a 3rd world country and adopt a small, less fortunate highway."

"We go to college to get a good job to buy an expensive tv to watch truck drivers on the discovery channel."

"When my pet goldfish died my parents thought it would be a great idea to replace it with a hamster... Poor little guy drowned in seconds.."

"Hey baby, there's a party in my pants. And urine.. ...Vited."

"They opened the tomb and were all, ""Where'd he go?"" and the angel said, ""He's at IHOP for never-ending pancakes"" and they were like, ""Word."""

"Why can you not play UNO with mexicans? They take all the green cards."