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Joke of the Day

"A moment of silence for those who sacrificed themselves to determine which mushrooms taste good with pasta, which are fun & which kill you."

"I'd rather keep thinking there are punctuation errors in everything I read than clean my monitor."

"""The bad news is that you've had a stroke. The good news is that IKEA has hired you to name all their new products!"""

"What do you call a booth babe at Apple's events? ICandy"

"*sneeze once* God bless you! *sneeze twice* God bless you. *sneeze three times* Get your shit together, Steve."

"What do you get when Philip Glass breaks? John Cage."

"I totally bombed my LSATs by writing in ""Possession"" for nine-tenths of the answers."

"no idea! I told my boyfriend that my mom is old so she needs to speak slowly and loud. Then I told my mom my boyfriend is retarded. They have no idea!"

"NEW study shows that Birthdays are good for your health Statistics show that people who have more birthdays, live the longest!"

"Husband : Why are there broken condoms on our couch??? Wife : would you please call our children by their real names?"