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Joke of the Day

"You know how moray eels can't let go when they bite, and both sets of jaws must be pried off even after they're dead? Don't touch my fries."

"Dad Joke Dad: (Grabs his chest) Call me an ambulance Son: You are........ an ambulance Dad: Proud of you son."

"You don't know what you have until it's gone.... For example, toilet paper"

"Why do Farts Smell so Bad? So the deaf can enjoy them too."

"North-Korean food I made North korean food for my GF. She said pizza isn't North korean. I said Shut up and eat it."

"What did the boy buy at the grocery store? Too Bad, I'm not telling you!"

"What did the homeless man get for christmas ? Hypothermia."

"Direct quote from my daughter: ""I know horses can play soccer really well because they're fast."" Thank god she's pretty."

"If Lord of the Rings starred Denzel Washington.... ...then at least there would be a Tolkien black guy."

"What do 50 cent hot dogs have in common with lumber? Two buy four."