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Joke of the Day

"In a land with no pockets, the man with the fanny pack is king."

"Might buy a junkyard just to grow my own junk food."

"So, a female friend asked me for my honest, unbiased opinion of her... ...on a scale from 1 to 10. I looked her up and down and said, quickly, ""You're an eight."" I think she peed a little."

"LPT: If you feel too cold, and can't afford central heating ...Just stand in a corner of your house. They are usually ~ 90"

"What do you get when you have a nosey pepper? It gets jalapeno business."

"Disappointed in the Baja Men for never writing a song about putting the dogs back in."

"Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium went on a date? OMG!"

"Homework. The teachers' way of knowing how smart the parent is."

"I sold my sole to the Devil yesterday... He was pretty pissed off when he found out it wasn't a typo."

"Why is the archaeologist sad? Because his career is in ruins."