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Joke of the Day

"Honda made a car called the CRX before. Now they make one called the CRZ. They skipped the one in the middle because the prototype was so bad, it made them CRY."

"If your FB name includes your college degree initials, you are a douche..."

"I renamed my iPod to Titanic... it's syncing now!"

"On the subject of typos... I and O can be real mitherfuckers."

"What is a sorority girl's favorite type of cheese? Feta"

"Food just tastes better upside-down 1. upside-down cake 2. hamburgers 3. not cereal tho 4. oh no cereal is everywhere 5. why did I do this"

"[at TED talk] OMG that man is having a heart attack! Anyone here a doctor? *entire crowd stands* No a MEDICAL doctor *entire crowd sits*"

"If you're going to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 10, don't be open."

"Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat. Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn't have."

"For the last time I said CAULK, I need black CAULK. This isn't funny, what isle is it in"