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Joke of the Day

"I brought a classical musician back from the past to prove that my time-machine works, but I can't find him. He must be Haydn."

Next Joke
 
"I'm not a fan of NASCAR but I hear it's popular in some circles."
"Why do some places have keys for the restroom? They're afraid somebody might steal their shit."
"I hate church I hated church when I was a child, with all the standing and kneeling and sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."
"A black guy walks into a bar. And he found himself with a headache as he couldn't read the CONSTRUCTION sign"
"Confucius say... Man who go to bed with sex in mind, wake up with solution in hand."
"I think my girlfriend is breaking up with me for playing too much videogames.. She says its ""just cause"" but either way I think its a pretty silly thing to fallout 4.."
"*catches son swearing through sign language* ""We don't use that language in this house"" *hands him hand sanitizer* ""You know what to do"""
"Q: Why don't violists play hide and seek? A: Because no one will look for them."
"I learned all I need to know about how to treat my coworkers by watching every Saw movie at least ten times."