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Joke of the Day

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? My pad or yours?"

"What do you call a Mexican Baptism? Bean dip."

"Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side!"

"The word ""defenestration"" means ""to throw someone out a window."" Which means this happens so often we needed a word for it."

"What do you call an Indian Jedi? Mace Hindu."

"Pythagoras was a skeptic... ...but now he believes in angles"

"If I ever go missing I want my picture on a 40 oz beer rather than a milk carton, because I want fun people to find me."

"Secret to success is to know who to blame for your failures."

"What the quickest way to a mans heart? Though his chest with a knife"

"WIFE: COME AND GET RID OF THIS SPIDER ME to spider: I told you, you'll get your money. Leave my family out of this SPIDER: you've got 2days"