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Joke of the Day

"My ex-girlfriends all did me dirty like the first 25% of a Netflix loading screen. I was repeatedly tricked into thinking there was a connection"

"You know what they say.Once you go black.... you're a single mother."

"How do you get an LSU football player to stop masturbating? Paint his penis crimson and white, and he'll never beat it."

"What do you call a hooker with a runny nose? Full."

"Subway's known about Jared since the beginning how else can you explain how they knew he likes to eat fresh. I'm going to hell for this one."

"Psychic: *rubbing temples* You want to know if your wife's trying to murder you Me: How'd you know? P: *sees knife in my back* I'm good"

"*looks up from phone* Great, I'm inside of a coffin again."

"What separates the men from the boys? Operation Yewtree."

"What is black, bitter and dont work worth a damn? Decaf coffee"

"What do you call a sophisticated American? Canadian"