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Joke of the Day

"HIPPO: I'm really heavy ZIPPO: I'm a little lighter"

"Joe: Yes, that was me. Obama: Please stop. Joe: I will not stop. This room will smell so bad when he gets here. Obama: Joe... Joe: Nope."

"A recent study states that one of women's most common turnoffs on the first date is when men keep answering their phones. Especially when it's their wife on the line."

"You wanna hear a dirty joke A horse fell in the mud. And then some crazy lesbian who hates horses put on a strap on and fucked it till it died."

"The person who came up with ""happily ever after"" probably didn't realize humans would live longer than 34 years."

"Me: I want a... Debit card: Nope. Me: Ok. Just making sure."

"Day 1 of tea instead of coffee I was ready to kill myself, but now on the fourth day, I'm ready to kill others"

"What is the photographer's favorite car? Ford Focus"

"Detective: Did your husband have any enemies, ma'am? Wife: Well, the cat next door never really liked Jim, and that always seemed a bit odd."

"I hate when my camera rings, in the middle of a selfie."