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Joke of the Day
""" I gotta see this guys best tweet, I'll gift him Favstar Pro"". Said no one ever."
Next Joke
"I've just been to the hospital where the doctor told me my DNA was backwards. And?"
"How do you use a condom twice? Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it."
"Dog: [Barks at the mailman] Human: Bad dog. Dog: [Turns to the camera] My human hates bills, yet gets mad when I try to scare the guy off."
"This is gonna be misinterpreted, but I've been sitting on hard wood for an hour and my ass is killing me"
"Procrastination is just like masturbation It feels good but you wish someone else would just do it for you."
"I think I might be dying But I really like the color of my hair right now."
"Serial killers are updating their check list now for dumping bodies: 1) will this location be discovered by Pokemon players? 2) do I care?"
"Who do ghosts worship? Boo, DUH!!!"
"Here at Time Warner Cable we know that sex is an important part of a relationship. So we try to fuck you as often as possible."