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Joke of the Day
"What did the bumble bee striker say ? Hive scored !"
Next Joke
"How do you know when a politician is lying? When you see their lips moving!"
"My neighbor named his dog ""Rolex""... He's a watch dog."
"My neighbor came over and knocked on my door at 3 a.m. the other night. Three in the morning, can you believe it?! He was lucky I was still up playing my drums."
"What do you say to the guy who just jumped in the septic tank? Urine over your head!"
"TORTURER: I'm gonna water-board u ME: Hahaha, where u gonna find enough water TORTURER: *takes Tupperware out of the dishwasher* ME: Oh shit"
"Doctor, doctor, what can I do? Everyone thinks I'm a liar... I find that very hard to believe!"
"When is a door not a door? When it's ajar. (oldie but goodie)"
"Start the day with a big bowl of why the fuck am I awake."
"When people say they're a foodie it's no big deal.. but when people find I'm a drinker they're all ""stop the car"" and ""we're calling the police""."