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Joke of the Day

"The shutter speed of the iPhone 6's camera is so high... ...it can take a pic of a woman with her mouth shut"

"What's the difference between three midget mensa members and a female track team? One group is a bunch of cunning runts..."

"My father once gave me ""the talk"" Storks bring white babies. Crows bring black babies. Swallows bring no babies."

"Why do gay men float? Flambuoyancy"

"So the Asian guy from the Human Centipede has a Twitter account... He's not very popular though. He only has two people following him."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Arfur ! Arfur who ? Arfur got !"

"So a 14 year old girl goes to the doctor for a checkup... He puts the stethoscope up to her heart and says, ""Big breaths."" And she says, ""Thankth! I grew them mythelf!"""

"D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state. If congress passes it we only need 2 more states to get to 53 which is a prime number. Then we will truly be one nation, indivisible."

"I just got a tattoo of Ben Franklin on my dick Because my girlfriend knows how to blow a hundred bucks. (for our non-American friends, Ben Franklin's face is on the US $100 bill)"

"Why are Pokemon terrible to play hide and seek with? Because they pikachu"