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Joke of the Day

"I want to go to Gordon Ramsey's restaurant, throw a plate of risotto against the wall, and say ""Whoever made this is a fucking donkey!"""

"What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley."

"People who peel the entire banana before eating it are the same ones who take off all their clothes to go to the bathroom."

"If you're ever interested in having a near death experience just tell a girl she's not hot enough to be that crazy."

"What kind of buildings do terrorists have on their farms? Allahu akbarns (I'm going to hell)"

"What do you call a monkey named James that's afraid of everything? Jim-pansy"

"""Hi, I'm calling for info on your bicycle on Craigslist."" It's heavy, brown, has new shoes, and loves carrots. It's definitely not a horse."

"I hope there's a magazine for cool college bros called ""Frattitude."""

"My muslim neighbour invited me to this 'jihad party' he organised Everyone had a blast!"

"This cab driver has zero clue that ive played crazy taxi extensively and am critiquing his every move"