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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't stevie wonder drive the bus? There's no steering wheel in the back of the bus."

"I really wish I knew who kicked the jack under the car which I was working on.. .. the suspension is killing me."

"What is the bank manager's favourite type of football ? Fiver side !"

"""Dear Diary, the ugly woman at the bank cut in front of me today."" Woman: ""EXCUSE ME?!"" [whispers]""Dear Diary, I think she can hear me."""

"Two ducks are in a pond One says ""quack!"" The other says ""man, i was just about to say that!"""

"A group of muslim men go to a grooming class. They were disappointed to find it was about brushing horses."

"""How many people work at your company?"" About half of them."

"So I go in for my physical... And the doctor says ""I need a semen, stool, and urine sample."" I say ""Gee doc, I'm in a big hurry. Can I just leave my underwear?"" *Taken from Bill Paxton in Predator 2.*"

"It's not that I accept the Terms and Conditions. It's just that I would rather not spend the rest of my life reading them."

"People act like weed is the worst thing for short-term memory. Go drink 15 beers and see if you can remember your name or how legs work."