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Joke of the Day

"""Dear Diary, the ugly woman at the bank cut in front of me today."" Woman: ""EXCUSE ME?!"" [whispers]""Dear Diary, I think she can hear me."""

"Throw away the outside, cook the inside. Eat the outside, throw away the inside. What is it? [riddle] Cut on red needles, only nine trees heave empty crackers on bulls. [best of luck]"

"What makes you sweat during the summer? A sweater."

"What's Harry Potters favorite way to go down hill? Walking... JK ROLLING"

"Q: Why are frogs so happy? A: They eat whatever bugs them!"

"Why did the pet owner get upset with his parrot? ...because he was using too much fowl language"

"I just had the thought ""pfft. Your father can't die before you are born,"" and I believed it for a full minute. Because I'm smert."

"How are Clinton scandals like Pokemon? You'll never catch them all."

"Whats a mexicans favorite type basketball? Juan on Juan"

"What did the gold miner say when he met the singer of Pink Floyd? Au"