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Joke of the Day

"I've been trying to eat healthier so I ate a vegetarian."

"*lights a joint* Woah, fire! Ow! My elbow!"

"What did Jeffery Dahmer yell when he jumped in the pool? CANNIBAL!!!"

"I got the eye of the tiger ... and a lifetime ban from my local zoo."

"Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church? He was invited to thunday math."

"I promised my wife I would make her feel like a princess. She is all locked up in the tower now."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool."

"How school works: 2+2=4. Homework: 2+4+2=8. Exam: John had 4 apples. He eats one and gives one to a friend. Calculate the Suns mass."

"Why don't Buddhists have Instagram? They don't believe in the concept of a selfie."

"The Russian version of ""How I Met Your Mother"" is just a single episode showing a guy browsing a web page."