313

Joke of the Day

"My new cooking show, ""Will Sasso Cooks With His Exposed Dick Really Close to the Food"" premieres tonight (8/7 Central) in my mind. Be there!"

"I had my first ever threesome last night... There was a couple of no-shows but I still had a great time."

"I asked my racist granddad what does he think should be illegal... His reply, quite unsurprising, was ""Youth in Asia"" ."

"Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A: A bad golfer goes WHACK! ""Damn."" A bad skydiver goes ""Damn."" WHACK!"

"Her lips were saying ""no""..... But her eyes were saying ""read my lips""...."

"How do you calculate the length of rosemary? Sprigonometry"

"Hey, guy who contacts Batman with a spot light in the sky, pretty sure you can just text him now, it is 2012."

"Daddy, can I have another cup of water? ""Sure, son. But it's your 12th cup tonight..."" ""I know, the baby's room is still on fire."""

"what do a divorce and a tornado have in common in west virginia? either way you lose the trailer"

"What happens when you shoot a black man? You go to jail for impersonating a police officer..."