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Joke of the Day

"What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets."

"I went to one those secret New York City rooftop concerts last night. Seeing FIDLAR on the roof was great!"

"[Travels back in time] Me: Abe, what do you think America looks like in the future? Lincoln: United as one nation... Me: Wrong! FATTER."

"""I love u"" ""Umm isn't it a bit too soon to say I love you?"" ""Oh ha I meant the letter U. What's your fav u word? Mine is Unreciprocated lol"""

"Chuck Norris crab fishes the Bearing Sea using only a snorkel and a laundry basket."

"me: when I was your age there was a band called Hoobastank grandson: his mind is clearly degraded. that cannot be true. the old man is dying"

"Whats the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang the painting."

"Why is Rosie O'Donell fat? Because she likes to eat out!"

"imagine getting a bj and the person's hair gets stuck in your chain wallet"

"What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted ""shut your hole"" at him? ""Babe, it's a valve!"""