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Joke of the Day

"Are you tired of every day being the same? Congratulations, you're an adult!"

"Why don't Nazi's like strip clubs? Because, they don't like Poles."

"So the Boston marathon was yesterday... I heard it was an arm and a leg better than last year!"

"Men at 26 plays football, Men at 40 plays tennis, Men at 60 plays golf, have you noticed every time you get older your ball gets smaller"

"Interviewer: Why should we hire you? Me: Well, if you hire me, I will make all of your other employees look FANTASTIC by comparison."

"What did hitler say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? ""Au, schwitz!"""

"A lion would probably call a Kenyan runner fast food."

"What is E.T. short for? So he can fit into his spaceship."

"Wrote a letter to Santa today because i don't want him to think that we only talk when i want something from him."

"My girlfriend was very proud of this one. What does cats and festival attendees have in common? They both love using the toilet right after it's been cleaned."