102909

Joke of the Day

"Wrote a letter to Santa today because i don't want him to think that we only talk when i want something from him."

"Why did Will die? Because the commanding officer told his soldiers: ""Fire at will"""

"*wear sunscreen* *go up to a guy named Ray and punch him in the nose* *now laugh because sunscreen protects you from ultra violent Rays*"

"Would you guys buy Apple's new product for lumberjacks? iWood."

"One day On Reddit I would love to see ""I'm a schizophrenic... Ask us anything!"""

"Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. It seems, even in Biblical times men avoided asking the way."

"FBI AGENT: [lifting crime scene tape and walking in] dale howard, fbi ME: [following him] bob vulfov, looking for a bathroom"

"What does the weather do when Hitler's around? It heils."

"If a rapper named e came out as gay He would say E=MCQUEERED"

"It seems like I only have sex with girls in high heels... Probably because the ones in tennis shoes run too fast."