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Joke of the Day

"Wrote a letter to Santa today because i don't want him to think that we only talk when i want something from him."

"What's the hardest thing about skydiving? The Ground"

"""One man's trash is another man's treasure,"" is an awesome phrase But it's a horrible way to tell your kid they're adopted."

"What do two sushi say after one tells a lame joke? ""Nigiri, please."""

"Good job on the speed traps, cops - How are the getting murdered traps coming along?"

"Teacher: What happened to your homework? Pupil: I made it into a paper plane and someone hijacked it."

"*knocks on donation door Me: I have a donation Salvation Army: Ma'am, once again... you cannot donate your man Me: You have stupid rules!"

"A squiggly red line should appear under people who are wrong for you"

"An alcoholic walks into a bar. He's so drunk, he doesn't feel anything."

"How can you tell if Hillary Clinton is lying? She's moving her lips."