154782

Joke of the Day

"Tired of being single? Just lower your standards a bit. My new girlfriend is a coconut taped to a mop."

"What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice? polar-oids"

"Forty minutes before we get to the first sex scene in Fifty Shades Of Grey? They do beat around the bush..."

"I once lost my watch at a party... I saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, and punched him in the nose. No one does that to a girl... Not on my watch."

"What do you call deer with no eyes? No idea. What do you call deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea."

"What do you call a kid with no arms and legs and severe Down syndrome? Names"

"My girlfriend said she was in such a foul mood. So I took her to KFC"

"What is a pirate? /t"

"Where does monty python buy his water? From the knights Da-sa(y)-NI! This joke is best delivered verbally."

"Nurse: Taking you back into surgery. Something was sewn inside you. Me: What? Can I talk to the surgeon? [from my stomach] I'm right here"