154757

Joke of the Day

"Kanye West hospitalised in Los Angeles. At this difficult time, our thoughts and prayers go out to... ...all the hospital staff."

"What did the asian do after receiving a test with a bad grade? Bangladesh"

"An astrologer asks a lady if she wanted to know her husband's future... To which she replied, ""I decide his future, tell me about his past"""

"Two yrs ago I weighed 296lbs. Today I weigh 293lbs. Hard work makes dreams come true, folks."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"*buying teacher's gifts* 7: Mrs. J said she hates candles. Me: {recalling mountain of homework every night} Pumpkin Spice Candle it is then!"

"So when you say R.I.P. To a dearly departed you are basically saying hey no zombie or walking dead stuff ??"

"Some thieves stole tofu. Authorities have no leads yet on this tasteless crime. credit to The Oregonian, pretty much"

"What do you call a baby pizza with epilepsy? Little Seizures."

"Why did your sister keep running around her bed ? Because she was trying to catch up with her sleep."