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Joke of the Day

"There's no one worse than the first person to give a standing ovation in a crowd forcing everyone else to get up and clap."

"How do we know that Jesus wasn't born in Mexico? Because he'd never have been able to find 3 wise men and a virgin."

"It's cute the way they make the Oreos bag resealable like I'm not going to eat them all."

"I hate when I wake up in the middle of the night to get a quick drink of water and then accidentally eat a whole pizza and a cheesecake"

"John Cusack will always have ""I didn't do my homework but I love you"" face."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet Adele (Hello from the other side)"

"I like my coffee like I like my men, Big, black, and strong."

"While it may be physically possible to have a baby after 40, forty children are probably enough."

"A man tells his friend his wife broke up with him and has full custody of his kids... His friend says: ""I feel so sorry"" The man says: ""I feel worse for the kids"""

"What did the hammer announce over the intercom to the evacuating screws screaming for help? ""This is not a drill!"""