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Joke of the Day

"There's no one worse than the first person to give a standing ovation in a crowd forcing everyone else to get up and clap."

"Only a fraction of you will get this There's a fine line between numerator and denominator"

"If the backup sensor beeping in my car is keeping with the beat of the song I'm listening to I'm probably just gonna hit whatever it is."

"What do you call a gay Mexican? a spigot."

"My wife refused to do anal. She said she had a Boo-T-I."

"My grief counselor died last week. Luckily, he was so good I didn't give a shit."

"What did Robin Williams do when he got to his office early? He hung around until his assistant arrived"

"Why don't blind people bungee jump? 'Cause it scares the fuck out of the dogs."

"Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my fucking cock."

"Melania Trump says her husband is ""not Hitler."" That's true. Hitler had a mustache and adult-sized hands."