154490

Joke of the Day

"Did you guys hear about that guy who died? He was famous for giving sheep haircuts. Did that for over 25 years. They say he died from shear boredom."

"So I went to the doctor's office today. He tells me I need to stop masturbating. I ask him why, is my heart to weak, or something? He says ""no, im trying to examine you.."

"What is Benedict Cumberbatch going as for Halloween? Benedict Pumpkinpatch"

"Why don't cannibals eat the feet? Because they are lactoes intolerant. Told to me by my 12 year old."

"Knock Knock. ""Who's there?"" ""Kenya."" ""Kenya who?"" ""Kenya let me the fuck in?!?"""

"My daughter did a cart wheel and slammed her head right into the coffee table. That's all the DNA test I need."

"Did you hear about the murder of the door maker? The police said it was an open and shut case."

"why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo. who has hair on their shoulders. whos shampooing their shoulder hair. please come forward"

"I'm so depressed, Radiohead is cheering me up."

"A blind guy walks into the kitchen.... ...and picks up a cheese grater. Runs his fingers up and down the grater: ""who the f*ck wrote these stupid things?"""