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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a girl who's sitting in the middle of a tennis court? Annette."

"(OC) What did the auditors say to the South American shopkeeper? Hello, I'm here to Peru-se your inventory."

"Who is a penguin's favorite relative? His Aunt Arctica"

"If I could time travel, I'd make sure the guy who made up the word Walkie-Talkie got to name more things."

"I just had sex with Jesus Christ I wasn't prepared for his second coming."

"Why can't Mexicans play Uno? They'll steal all the green cards"

"Mattel is launching a new Facebook Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box."

"What's cooler than being cool? Financial Stability *shoutout to /r/personalfinance*"

"[God making water] ""it helps plants"" ANGEL: nice ""cleans things"" A: ok ""u die if u don't drink it"" A: ""& drown if u drink it wrong"" A: what"

"My dog is completely exhausted from destroying everything in my house"