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Joke of the Day

"""Wow, it smells like *sniff* wait what the?"" *Rips blind fold off and sees house burning down* ""Omg!"" Narrator: The power of Febreeze"

"My dog ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles and now I gotta follow him around the yard because it's his turn"

"What do gynecologists and pizza delivery guys have in common? They have to smell it but they can't taste it!"

"My brother is deaf and watches porn I turned the volume to max in his pc"

"My anniversary is coming up Friday is my anniversary, I'll have been married for 35 years. Really it only 5 years, but I count in dog years because my wife is such a bitch."

"Why don't we call it Christlmas? Noel."

"How long did it take the fish to go to the store? salmon or eight minutes."

"Instagram before the foods goes in, Twitter when the food goes out."

"What kind of dog does Sauron have? A La-Barad-dur"

"One way to handle social anxiety is to pretend you are a ghost & people are staring at you because they have a gift they never asked for"