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Joke of the Day

"Dude I'm Colin Kapernick and I'm black. Dude you're not even brown. You look like Matthew Perry. -Harold and Kumar"

"Whats the worst thing to hear when you have explosive diarrhea? ""Are you ticklish?"""

"The GOP candidates are competing to win over Scott Walker supporters after he pulled out of the race... But all three of them remain undecided still."

"What's Blue and not heavy? Light Blue."

"SORRY FOR MY POOR VOLUME CONTROL REGULATION BUT THIS IS A GOOD CUDDLE"

"What's a sea serpent's favourite meal? Fish and ships!"

"*text message* Cat: Slave, I'm missing a box. I had 2 & now I have 1. I blame the dogs. Find it. Me: but I'm at work. Cat: find it."

"If you've never tried to use ""the force"" to get a an out-of-reach remote control, you're probably not as lazy as me."

"What did King Trident say when he stepped in the whale poop? OH CARP!!!"

"My wife's sister My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off."