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Joke of the Day

"People get so weird when I step on the gym scale behind them, naked."

"What's the difference.... Between eating pussy and driving in the fog? When you're driving in the fog you can't see the asshole in front of you"

"How did Hitler pick up Jewish girls? With a dustpan..."

"Having a tea party is fun until your daughter tells you that she got the water from the toilet"

"I think the real reason men don't lactate is because we would just be irresponsible and squirt each other with it."

"A book just fell on my head. I've only got myshelf to blame."

"Can't believe Nintendo didn't make a commercial for the Wii where a guy breaks up with a girl by saying ""It's not you, It's Wii""."

"A guard is patrolling when he sees something moving in the bushes.... ""Who's in there?!"" He yells He gets a reply ""jean-claude van damme"" All 4 of you,get out!"

"I think money attracts the females you want, struggle attracts the woman you need."

"My husband is out w/friends & I'm at home w/the kids. I'm going to sprinkle Legos under the covers on his side of the bed."