184102

Joke of the Day

"A guard is patrolling when he sees something moving in the bushes.... ""Who's in there?!"" He yells He gets a reply ""jean-claude van damme"" All 4 of you,get out!"

"I have a tattoo of a tiger shirt underneath my tiger shirt so when I take off my tiger shirt BOOM tiger shirt"

"I've been fired from work for putting in too many hours Clock manufacturing isn't as easy as you think ^(yes I thought of this after reading the shifts-keyboard joke)"

"Why don't British people pronounce their T's? They left them in the Boston Harbor"

"I have often wanted to drown my sorrows. But, I can't get my wife to go swimming."

"Have you heard of the band 1023 MB? Have you? No? Probably because they don't have any GIGS!"

"A lady goes into the dry cleaners Lady: ""I was wondering if you could get this stain out of my blouse"" The Clerk: ""Come again?"" Lady: ""No, this time it's just yogurt"""

"I'm such an alcoholic.... That when Alcohol does its taxes, it claims me as its dependant!"

"If Hilary Clinton is elected president, what title will they give Bill? First Lady's man (;"

"I spent a good portion of today sitting in a Snuggie watching Cops. Eventually, they told me to go home and put on pants."