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Joke of the Day

"Oops! I left the curtains open. Now my neighbors know what my junk looks like pressed up against the window with a flashlight aimed at it."

"If your wife says ""take out the trash"" do not reply with ""you cooked it you take it out."""

"I walked into the bar sober with $42 & walked out drunk with $42. But you're right fellas, men are smarter than women."

"What is the capital of Greece? They have no capital."

"Batman: ""Shall we watch a film?"" Superman: ""Have you got Cape Fear?"" Batman: ""Only in revolving doors. Now, a film?"""

"For people who've been around such a long time, grandparents seem constantly amazed that children grow."

"What Do You Call a Bearded Man Whose Idea of Paradise is 72 Virgins? Richard Branson."

"A man once asked me what autodefenestration meant. Avoiding the question, I jumped out a window."

"How are genders like the twin towers? There used to be two of them but now everyone gets offended if you talk about it."

"Sexually active I was sexually active at 12....its now 12.14am and my hand is fuckin killing me."