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Joke of the Day
"Pregnant wife: Are you going to be a good big sister? 3-year-old: Babies are jerks."
Next Joke
"*opens door to show you my enormous stash of apples* ""The doctors will attack soon, and I will be the only one prepared."""
"Yo mama is like an Arcade Machine ... put the quarters in the Pussy and play with the titties"
"How do you know your GF is getting fat? She starts fitting in your wife's clothes..."
"banned from the horse lovers facebook page again for unloading a litany of ableist slurs on photo of a shetland pony"
"A mug of beer walks into a bar... The bartender sees him and says, ""Sorry, we don't serve alcoholic drinks here."" A rift in the space-time continuum is created as the bar ceases to exist."
"[texting] Wife: Clean out your bowels. Me: OK. Wife: *bowls. The ones in the sink Me: *chugging laxatives* Damn it."
"You know you're married when you find her sexier with clothes on."
"What do you think of wearing a straight jacket? I think I could pull it off"
"As an Alzheimer's patient, this is my favorite joke on reddit"