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Joke of the Day

"My wife started her job on a cruise ship last week. My mate asked, ""How's she getting on?"" I replied, ""I'm not sure, I think they use a crane."""

"How do you make a girl gain weight? Marry her."

"My girlfriend acts like a 14 year old in bed Even though she is 12"

"Two sausages are sizzling in a pan.... One says ""Do you think it's hot in here?"" The other says ""oh my god a talking sausage!"""

"What do you call two black guys walking down the street? Nothing. Are you racist or something?"

"I like my rhinos like I like my eggs poached"

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil and paper"

"""Yeah, you're right, this shit is really hard. You wanna go get a milkshake or something?""-me as a personal trainer"

"What do you call a Chinese lady with one leg? Irene."

"I once tried to be a cat... It didn't go pur-fectly, but it went well... ( )"