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Joke of the Day

"I make out with guys that wear Abercrombie & Fitch cologne because it rubs off on me & I love how it smells, but shopping there is SOOO gay."

"Women wake up yawning while men wake up with an erection. Coincidence?? I think NOT"

"I don't care if you're here to murder me we take our shoes off in this house."

"You hear Charlie sheen is starring on a new show. It's called Two and a half T-cells"

"Why do shower heads have 11 holes? Cause Jews only have ten fingers."

"A flamingo, a duck, and a lawyer... Q: What can a flamingo do that a duck can't that a lawyer should? A: Stick its bill up its ass."

"What do you call an online correspondence with a transvestite? She-mail."

"I hired an old German plumber when remodeling my apartment He was a great guy, very reliable and thorough. But it seems old habits die hard. He connected gas main to my shower."

"Uncle Robert was talking to his nephew Jimmy ""Uncle Bobby, how did you become my uncle?"" ""Well Jimmy, your parents went wham-bam and now Bob's your uncle."""

"Why is it that when your dog brings you things he's killed it's cute, but when I do it we have to get the police involved?"