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Joke of the Day

"This Joke Won't Get This Upvotes"

"The true mark of maturity is when somebody hurts you, and you try to understand them in order to best tailor a revenge plot that suits them."

"What do you get when you cross a stock broker, a detective, and an alligator? An investigator."

"What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat? A weasel is weasily recognised and a stoat is stoatally different!"

"I just spilled my last beer while reaching over to hit ""ignore caller"" on my phone. Why do bad things happen to good people?"

"Why was the pig happy when reviewers criticized his story? Because they called it garbage."

"What do you call a girl on the grill? Patty"

"Coaching my son's soccer team, I thought moms would be all over me - no! They are always, ""The popsicles are for AFTER the game."" Bitches."

"Why is the algorithms lecturer so fat? Because he always minimises the running time."

"What were Tarzan's last words? WHO GREASED THE VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNEEEE."