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Joke of the Day

"At a rally today Donald Trump ordered the secret service to remove a crying baby. They had him halfway to the curb before realizing the error."

"I remember when it was called ""drinking a glass of water"" instead of ""hydrating."""

"Why are Jewish men Circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off"

"Whenever you see me on screen, just know there's a highly likely chance I was 20% acting and 80% thinking about what's for lunch"

"Harambe memes have lost their popularity since the election... People's attention moved away from the death of a gorilla to the election of an orangutan!"

"What did one strawberry say to the other? ""If you hadn't been so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!"""

"I'm never buying a Labrador... Havent you seen how many of their owners go blind?"

"There are 10 types of people in this world... Those who understand binary, and those who don't."

"Saw a black guy walking the streets carrying a tv.. ...and I thought ""is that one mine""? Then I remembered it couldn't be mine because mine was mowing the lawn at the moment."

"Why is it so quiet when pterodactyls use the restroom? Their P is silent."