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Joke of the Day

"So a baby seal walks into a club... That's it."

"Do you know what comes after the ""just the tip"" argument? Balls.."

"Did a somersault for the first time in years. I know that's not a good tweet but I'm getting bored lying here waiting for the paramedics."

"You can tell by a woman's feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you."

"I got kicked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks ... to the alligators... All I wanted was to complete the circle of life."

"A man goes to the library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide, the librarian turns around and says ""fuck you, you wont bring it back"""

"A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. What type of veteran is he? A seasoned veteran."

"You know what's the biggest turn off for me? Consent."

"the best part about being a tornado chaser is when u catch one it is extremely fatal"

"American cheese is just regular cheese that's not afraid to fight for freedom! Also, it's fatter than the other cheeses. And more racist."