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Joke of the Day

"This password requires one uppercase letter, one number, [at least] one swastika, the blood of your first born and a bird skull."

"I'm gonna start following my cat to the litter box and sit in her lap while she takes a shit"

"I bet the butcher the other day that he couldn't reach the meat that was on the top shelf He refused to take the bet, saying that the steaks were too high."

"That awkward moment at a feminist picnic when they realize no one made sandwiches."

"What's blue and hangs from a tree in my yard? Its my nigger, I can paint him whatever color I want."

"If you catch a Gecko by it's tail... If you catch a Gecko by it's tail, it will detach itself from it and grow a new one. A lot like Hillary's political policies."

"What mouse was a Roman emperor ? Julius Cheeser !"

"I once thought about becoming a proctologist... but I can't imagine spending my entire workday dealing with assholes."

"Geese just call them bumps."

"Have you heard the one about the three holes? WELL, WELL, WELL..."