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Joke of the Day

"I told a joke I made up last Halloween! It got me a few Snickers."

"Welcome to the Psych Med Club! We were working on a secret handshake, until we lost interest in the things we once loved."

"Dawn's coming over. ""Dawn from work, or crazy Dawn?"" *Dawn walks in* ""WELL WELL WELL, if it isn't the lady I'm framing for murder."

"Why is the new version called Windows 10? Because 7 ate 9."

"My favorite country star's good songs are about being bad and his bad songs are about being good I'll always love Jason Aladeen"

"Loan officer: And what is the purpose of your loan, Sir? Me: Whole Foods. I shop at Whole Foods."

"You do a lot of yoga? ""Yeah"" So you must be really...(winks) annoying"

"Live today like it's your last day. But pay bills and dress appropriately just in case it isn't."

"What's the best way to make your wife scream when you're having sex? Call her up and tell her where you are."

"I see a border patrol car drive by... So I ask my mexican co-woker if he has his visa. He looks at me cofused for a minute then says ""no no I only have debit card"" (true story)"