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Joke of the Day

"""I wish you were dead."" Said the necrophiliac to his girlfriend."

"I was having trouble reverse parking... ...until I tried my back-up plan."

"What's the best part about going in without a condom? The abortion."

"At willcall for a concert, I start a conversation with the lady in front of me. It was the first time I had used a pick up line to talk to a woman."

"Some people tell me I have a superiority complex. But it's actually pretty simple. They're just too dumb to comprehend it."

"I got a discount circumcision from a friend. He did a terrible job, but it was really a fantastic discount. Now I'm not sure if I should complain or not. I'm really torn."

"How do you make a Scottish omelette?"

"What did the blind guy say when he walked past Red Lobster? Hi, Ladies!"

"What are the odds of a chronic gambler ever calling the addiction-helpline? No seriously, I've got $100 riding on this."

"What do alcoholics and necropheliacs have in common? They both love to crack open a cold one."