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Joke of the Day

"Papa tomato, Mama tomato and little tomato, are walking down the street. little tomato is walking a little slow so pap walks up and says... ketchup."

"Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day.. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink all day."

"I reported my bike stolen, now the thief can't use it anymore. Since the police is on it."

"I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn't affect the price of Vodka!"

"I recently joined a group for ambidextrous people. It didn't feel right, so I left."

"""my son, can I ask why you're carrying two HUGE crucifixes?"" Well father, I've been... Double-crossed *God starts breakdancing*"

"Girl, do you work at Arby's? Because you've got a roast beef pussy."

"My daughter is now at the age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex. This morning she asked, ""Was that the best you could do?"""

"Robocop: I am Robotcop Criminal: You don't say the t you robo moron R: [visibly confused] Pu down he gun you are under arres"

"I'm sure I didn't invent this joke, but i thought of it myself. What do you call a dog/ octopus hybrid? A Dog-opus! What about a cat/ octopus hybrid? an Octo-puss... buddum tiss*"