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Joke of the Day

"When I'm not standing up or laying down, I have a seizure If I sit, I fit."

"I'm in a band called ""Transportation"". We're going places."

"What do you call a self absorbed lobster? A little shellfish! I'll^see^myself^out..."

"Why did Jesus go to a Candy shop? To Test a Mint"

"What happened to King Midas after he facepalm'd? He turned into Donald Trump."

"This guy texting in metro besides me keeps covering his phone, like I care about his dinner plans in CP with his girlfrnd ""Shona baby"""

"Oh ..your account is protected? What do you tweet? Nuclear launch codes?:-)"

"I have got my own private jet, my wife owns rest of the hottub though."

"What's Hitlers most hated candy? Jewb jewbs"

"Turns out Chlamydia is much easier to get than it is to spell."