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Joke of the Day

"Small office joke My office is so small that when my feet are under my desk I trip people walking down the hall!"

Next Joke
 
"Two fat Scottish sounding women in my bar tonight... ""Hey, are you two from Scotland?"" I asked. ""It's WALES you fucking idiot,"" one yelled. I apologized, ""Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"""
"There are 3 kinds of people in this world; those who can count, and those who can't."
"What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless."
"A friend of mine is going to cosmetology school... I told her all the tests will be make-up exams."
"Muslims are so open minded when it comes to politics They believe in the separation of church and state !"
"I like my women like I like my cider... ... cold and dry ;)"
"My girlfriend told me she wanted to wake up to Oral I don't know what she expected but it sure as hell wasn't a dick in her mouth"
"Girlfriend: ""I'm pregnant"" Me: ""Really? Thats great."" GF: ""April Fo--"" *I'm already on a plane to a non extradition country*"
"Back in my day, we didn't have Instagram. We had to bore people in person with photo albums."