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Joke of the Day

"A butterfly just landed on the tip of my cigarette & exploded. What in the hell do they put in butterflys?"

"I've come into a lot of money lately... It's a fetish I never knew I had until now."

"- What's your cell phone? - iPhone. - No, I meant the number. - It's a 6. - No, to contact you. - I don't use it for that."

"Well I finally solved my drinking problem, I joined Alcoholics Anonymous Yeah I still drink, I just use a different name, that's all (Courtesy of Rodney Dangerfield on The Johnny Carson Show)"

"Today is International Women's Day. It was actually supposed to be held yesterday but they took too long to get ready."

"What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog. It croaks every night."

"What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesaurus"

"A pirate walks into a bar With a ships wheel on his belt. The bartender asks, ""What's the wheel for?"" The pirate replies, ""Arrr it's drivin me nuts!"""

"My favorite thing about single people is how they champion being single till they like someone then they transform into a hypocritcalpotamus"

"My first time having sex was like my first time riding a bike... My dad was holding me from behind..."