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Joke of the Day

"Two astronauts went to a bar on the moon but they left after a few minutes ? You see it had no atmosphere !"

"Alcoholics don't run in my family... ...they mostly stumble around and bump into things."

"Why are drums a fire hazard? Because they're flam-able. Ba-da Bum tsss."

"Did you hear about the guy who's making ""Colostomy Bag Pipes"" on Kick Starter? They sound like shit."

"Excited for the return of Game of Thrones. Not excited for the return of the phrase, ""If you'd read the books, you'd know that..."""

"Sorry I threw your baby but there was a spider on her."

"Did you hear the outcome of Bernie Sanders recent doctor's visit? He tested positive for Chlamydia after /r/Jokes entire user base felt the bern in their throats."

"What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAND EEEEEEEEEEYYYYYEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

"""Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once."""

"A man is being arrested by a female police officer The officer informs him, ""Anything you say can and will be held against you."" &nbsp; The man replies, ""Boobs!"""